I keep my refrigerator plugged in and turned on everyday solely to keep my ketchup, mayonnaise, mustard, and beer at a palatable temperature. I think this calls for community refrigerators in the vein of community gardens... In other refrigerator news, bachelors and non-frost-free freezers are a refried-bean, raw-onion, and hoppy-beer combination: I grew a 20-pound block of ice in my freezer during the last two years. A few months ago I emptied the aforementioned contents of my fridge and let the block of freezer ice melt into the provided catch-tray. The tray is designed to catch the water for 1/4 inch coating of ice and not the 6 inches or so that mine had. So, of course, the 20-pound block of ice starts turning into a 2-gallon pond in my catch-tray. I can't empty the tray since it's wedged in by the remaining ice. The solution here is to bail the water out of the tray via a baster, but no good bachelor owns a baster (and if one does, I'd ask questions about it before you use it). As an alternative, I grabbed the letter opener from my bedroom and started hacking out chunks of ice to free the tray and extricate me from comical bachelor hell (contrary to the instructions on the freezer door that explicitly say to not use a sharp-and-pointed object to remove ice). I speak the truth and it feels good. It also explains why my letter opener was once found inside of my refrigerator.

While waiting for life that sucks to die, why not listen to my favorite unsigned bands: TQ's Garage Band Playlist.