If Friendster development managers were clever, they would sort gallery searches by the number of hits on the searchee's profile. For example, if person A searches on criteria 1, 2, and 3, and the search returns people B, C, D, and E, then, if D had clicked on A's profile twice, C had clicked on A's profile once, and B & E had never clicked on A's profile, then the order of returned profiles would be D, C, B, and E. Or course, there are (probably) legal and (most definitely) social/privacy implications in a sort routine like this, but it would sure tell you a lot (kind of an implicit am-I-hot-or-not).

My milk expired July 17th and what happened to June?

"cvs server: nonmergeable file needs merge."

What's it like riding high, when the world gives you everything, a summer day with the windows rolled down, wind in your hair, and radio cranked up? Gleeful ephemeral moments, but you -- you believe in heydays forever. And Johnny Cash said that Trent Reznor said that everyone I know goes away in the end. What's it like when the world takes everything away and turns you into dirt? Then you are solely a memory, a memory that will someday itself be turned into dirt. Right there is our license to give up. And those who know me know that I ride the highest highs and the lowest lows and that I am a cynic beyond bounds, and that I am the world's best pessimist, and that I am uncontrollably impetuous, and that I have a penchant -- maybe even a fetish for sticking feet in my mouth. I build people up as easily as I piss them off and I go to yoga to pacify that kinetic craziness that arcs through my brain. But I know, I know that we are born in pain, live through pain, and die in pain. I am aware of this, but I refuse to give it credence. Therefore, fucking therefore, don't call me a romantic. There are too many people out there who have it so much worse then we do. If the rest of us aren't nice guys, then we are just fucking assholes.

I found the phrase "whatever, forever" in one of my journals tonight -- about the only noteworthy phrase in a journal that spans 6 years. It's weird, I can listen to Cheap Trick now and feel the same emotion I felt from their songs 10 or 20 years ago. Yet, I'm not even close to being the same person between or among any of those ages. Emotion is constant and interpretation is AWOL. If that was taught in physics I wouldn't have slacked so hard... Hey Johnny-come-lately, what's next? What's the big fucking next? Another plaque on the wall? Another letter in your title? Things are moving fast now. I was watching evangelical TV last night. Burp. Oh my God (and my God not your God mister), I've got a few words for you, Luke 18: 9 - 14. Christ almighty, I guess you get two choices in life: drugs or religion. You lose yourself in both -- one just gets you there much more quickly. For tonight, let me offer a third choice -- crazy Canadian lyrics via Tom Cochrane of Red Rider, "We know you've got to blame someone for your own confusion." I don't know. If we are all on the fast slide to hell, it's totally worth it if we are simultaneously playing Indian Poker and everybody's showing 2's. "Bet I'll be damned/Built the debt/I turned 2's up today."

Let's make like butter and roll. [apparently, once is not enough]

I got this for a horoscope a few days ago: "The lake is large, and once you've circled it, you're right back where you started." Well, screw them, I'm going to go live on a Caribbean island.

A Republican is someone who believes in less government -- except when he/she wants to know what its citizens are up to, then Big Brother can be as big as he wants to be.

A Republican is someone who believes in controlled spending and less taxes -- except when it comes to spending on defense and eliminating taxes on poor people. God, one thing is so clear to me, you can build a million tanks and a million hummers but their production is not going to prevent terrorism. Of course, nukes would work. Let's stick the budget back into them and clean the global slate.

A Republican is someone who believes in prayer in school and God on currency. Of course it damn well better be his God and not your God, unless your God comes in 3.

A Republican is someone who believes that the federal government should have less power and local government should have more power -- except when the local government allows something that the Republicans don't like -- say like fag marriages.

From Lovesexy:

I walk around downtown during lunch looking at all the buildings and all the memories from buildings that my path crossed, thinking that I should do this, that or the other thing 'cause I got my career to worry about. But my career is a mere manmade subset life, and life is where things should really matter. Why do so many people miss the point? Why am I so scared when I know I'm totally in the wrong spot and yet I feel helpless walking away from it 'cause the wrong spot pays a lot of my bills? And why do I crave D* when I've had a ton of other great dates this summer? I heard this line from a BoDeans tune, "And the hardest thing about it is knowing that she was right." Out of context I took this as she was right for me and then in context it was beautiful to discover that it was really, she was right all along. Everything haunts. Everything. And I'm wasting my intellect inside an office cube, but I am too enervated to go out and (once again) prove my intellect to the world, too cerebrally and emotionally broke to roll the dice one more time (When your day is done).

I emailed this on June 25th of this year. I can't tell if the wave is any closer, but I pulled my Stockholm maps out for the first time in years. Build a fucking ark, 'cause here comes the rain. Hopefully it's African rain, 'cause I am ready to bless.

----- Original Message -----
From: TQ
Sent: Friday, June 25, 2004 11:30 AM
Subject: one day all this could be yours

There's a big wave brewing out here in Seattle, I can't say when it will crest or when it will crash, and I'm a bit afraid because, waves, as waves are, can be joyous if you ride them high and miserable if you get stuck in the undercurrent of misdirection that they simultaneously create. The forces? One, it's an election year; two, people have been enveloped in fear much too long. There are more, but I think the forces are more individualized and are necessarily difficult to transcribe. It's hard to be a prophet and more than likely the wave of which I speak will sizzle like a marshmallow at the bottom of a bonfire. But, I can't ignore what I truly feel. The last wave (late 2000, early 2001) left me completely confused and nearly useless and I'd rather plot a different course this time around. Of course, of fate or destiny or kismet or lot, what can you choose, or what gets chosen for you?

.tqb.

iiii. .iii
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If John McCain is a moderate, then get me out of here sooner than later. Hmmm, Senator McCain, "America is not safe," so therefore live in fear, but "never surrender." Which is it? If you live in fear, you've already surrendered.

While waiting for life that sucks to die, why not listen to my favorite unsigned bands: TQ's Garage Band Playlist.